Resuscitating Lost Love

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You miss someone because you will never see or hear them again. You talk to them anyway. They will listen to you, but won’t reply. You know the face and you won’t forget, but you want to, no you don’t want to. You know the eyes you want to forget, but you don’t want to, and you won’t. Those eyes looking at yours without speaking a word but listening to your feelings.

The clock is moving, you’re slowly forgetting, but you’re afraid to forget because you don’t want to separate. You don’t want to live in reality. Reality is harsh, more difficult than to live in a created lie. How come you miss them if they’re always with you wherever you go, all the time. You’re with the person that is totally private to you, the person within you. They aren’t aware of it. And you aren’t completely aware of it either. You’re in love with a part of yourself.

If the flesh is what you wanted, if blood is what you loved, you lost it. You lost love. You lost everything. Close your eyes, you see the eyes. Say something, and let it pass through the gentle wind to the town where your heart is locked. You don’t want to set your heart free from the memories. It is better locked and left that way forever. And you know this is not cruel if that’s what your heart wants.

It’s 2 O’clock in the morning. You look outside the window, nothing has changed over the past few years. The same gentle wind, the same dark silent night, and the same image as you shut your eyes. It’s beautiful. You fall again. You fall for something that makes you lean on the wall and slide down in agony. You close your eyes again. Everything is moving so fast. You stop at a point. The pace is slow now. You turn the leaf one after another. Emotions are mimicking your brain causing your heart to ache. But that’s fine. You smile at every leaf, every good old memory you witnessed. The pain has become sweet to you.

You can’t help it. No matter what has happened, no matter what is happening, you are only longing to close your eyes for a while and get back to the place where your heart is locked. You visit the place, the moments. You want that now, but you don’t ask for. You have had enough of what you think you need to carry on and overcome the stress and blues; the memories. Every day, every moment, you close your eyes and resuscitate the lost love.

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