Sacred Rust - Stories | Poems | Rant | Life Experiences

To play yourself false about planning the future while deep down you actually are struggling to make it to Saturday, to only fantasize normal ability as a gem and watch it show magic to the world while yourself sitting in the comfortable armchair on the balcony of fortune, to keep adding bullets in the bucket list and wait for the faintest hope make the dreams come true. Ask me if this would work. Ask me how this would work. I don’t speak a word about it. I now know that next time before dropping any bullets on the list, I shall put that bullet into much consideration. About half a life is no more with me, just a couple of memories which I believe would serve my heart even after I kick the bucket (if there really is Soul that they believe), it was yesterday, and that’s gone, wouldn’t help me with my list. And the possible half of my life is not my friend, not even acquaintance. He is Oliver. Let’s say he is Oliver Walker who I haven’t met, not sure how empathetic or coldhearted he wo

Sometimes I close my eyes and remember remembering you the last time on the bus while getting back from work, when I’m trying to sleep, and when I‘m walking on the drizzling rain on the lonely street at 10 in the evening, while taking a long drag on my cigarette with sips of coffee, the time when I will be on the airplane seat flying abroad pursuing my destiny. This time the memories are less clearer than the last time I remembered you while doing the dishes at my place with some nostalgic music in the background, and it’s fading away with every single rotation of the Earth, with every sleeps of night, the nap of the day, and blink of these eyes. This is how the brain works, and how you forget him, her, them, things, and everything with time. But the written letters, words, and phrases of feelings last longer as long as the papers ain’t torn. The papers are not torn yet. All the pieces of paper are small but hold much, much that matters to me. The time that shall never slip by, th

You miss someone because you will never see or hear them again. You talk to them anyway. They will listen to you, but won’t reply. You know the face and you won’t forget, but you want to, no you don’t want to. You know the eyes you want to forget, but you don’t want to, and you won’t. Those eyes looking at yours without speaking a word but listening to your feelings. The clock is moving, you’re slowly forgetting, but you’re afraid to forget because you don’t want to separate. You don’t want to live in reality. Reality is harsh, more difficult than to live in a created lie. How come you miss them if they’re always with you wherever you go, all the time. You’re with the person that is totally private to you, the person within you. They aren’t aware of it. And you aren’t completely aware of it either. You’re in love with a part of yourself. If the flesh is what you wanted, if blood is what you loved, you lost it. You lost love. You lost everything. Close your eyes, you see

I wonder if I could ever see The sun that once shined on me I fear I’d always be Waiting for that symphony All at once, things apart No more use of prayers and plea Taking nap your whole day Breathing life in agony Tide comes tide goes, But life has become a silent sea Shutting myself off the world No more sorrow, no more glee

It all started at the end of that year. The cold winter night, the moon and the stars, the soothing cool breeze, and the glass of wine in our hands, little tipsy our mind, I held your hands and expressed how much my heart wanted to connect with yours. I said how I had been thinking of you since the time I saw you. I didn't know you, you didn't know me. But I knew you. I only saw you in person the day I met you, but deep inside, it felt like I was already close to you, a long time ago. Oh mother nature, I could feel your kindness. The cold night and the moonlight. You looked into my eyes, I couldn’t blink. Moments passed. After a long silence around, in my heart, I made a promise to the moon, the stars, the gentle wind that any words that would break the silence of that night would be my solemn oath for life. “I love you” looking into your eyes and let the surrounding witness my words that night, forever. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. Fate got us closer by heart, and lip

Then, I had to jump off the cliff, much higher cliff, higher than the cloud. Time was that I had to. And I did. I stretched my arms of loves and hopes. I was safe on my ropes. I felt life as a fun and adventurous game. I was in the air, excited and happy. I saw the clear blue sky, harmony among the clouds, birds flying along singing the song of praise. Never had I thought there comes a time in life when everything would be in the right alignment. Never had I imagine when everything would be that perfect. I closed my eyes, thought of the cliff I was a while before. I felt I did well indulging in that venture I called Love. All of a sudden, the rope snapped, I don't know. The Apocalypse. Now I am on the air of despair. I don't believe my body falls in the ocean so that I could somehow manage to swim and get to the shore. I am in the air, no ropes of safety to keep me from crashing on the ground. I tried to hold the rope tight. I couldn’t. I am detached. I am falling down b